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Hope's Journey

"There was a time when all I wanted was to die but now that I have tasted life I really don’t want to die until I have truly lived!" Hope's Journey is a heart wrenching account of Angela's struggle with depression and suicide.   "This book is helpful for people that are going through tough times as well for those who are trying to support them. It gives valuable insight into the feelings experienced in the midst of the situations as well as the tools Angela used to find her way through them. The tools are useful for anyone trying to find hope in dark situations, whatever they may be, and are helpful for leading a stronger, more balanced life." Ali Kirkwood  Available at: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Kindle StudyGuide: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | More Info  Contents: Introduction Suicide Eat, Sleep & Exercise Have a Checkup First Things First Make Hope Make List Tell Someone Choose Your Friends Understand Hormo

Hope's Journey - First Things First

Quite a few more years down the line. It’s Monday morning and I have a Church hangover! Sundays are great, I love Sundays and all the amazing things that God does with all the wonderful people in our Church. Each Sunday holds new adventure and excitement as well as so much more work than I can ever really manage in one day. I give my best emotionally, spiritually and physically. I love, I pour coffee, I listen to problems, sometimes I preach, sometimes I sing, occasionally I change a baby’s nappy in the crèche, I cook a big roast for anything up to twenty people, if necessary I do a hospital visit for the people that weren’t able to attend Church and feel left out. The list goes on and on and on and then Monday morning comes!  It’s eight o’ clock in the morning and the phone rings. I am awake but the first coffee of the day hasn’t got into my blood stream yet so I am in a zombie state. It’s one of our congregation members; he is in terrible pain and needs someone to take him t

Hope's Journey - Have a Checkup

I was at the gynaecologists’ office joking around about how I have never had this sort of check up in my life. He took some medical history and then asked me to lie down on the examination table. My palms were sweaty and my heart racing a bit as I was dreading what was to come. Pap smears and internal examinations are just not very comfortable and since this was my very first time having a smear I was feeling a bit embarrassed.  To break the ice a bit I thought I would chat about something unusual that I had noticed in my body. When I lay on my back and my bladder was a bit full my lower abdomen seemed to be swollen. Thinking this was just my full bladder I made a casual joke about it and pointed it out as my bladder was getting quite full at the time of this examination. He had a look and remarked that it did seem rather swollen and asked if it would be alright for him to do an ultrasound scan so that he could take a closer look at it. I was thrilled to delay the internal exami

Hope's Journey - Eat, Sleep & Exercise

Chapter 2 - Eat, Sleep & Exercise One of the first things I tackled when cleaning up my act and getting my life sorted out with God was to sort out my physical body. I was after all pregnant and I wanted this precious one inside of me to have a perfect life, totally opposite to mine thus far. I would do anything and everything to ensure that this little life inside of me was pure. It was as if I was having a new start through her. Everything I did wrong in life I could make right by making her life lovely, wonderful, peaceful and pure. This was the mind of a pregnant seventeen year old that had just been given a fresh start in life. In many ways even though it wasn’t the truth of how it all worked it did help me change the way I saw life. The first step back then was for me to eat well and exercise, and that is the first step now too. Time passed, my precious baby girl Lorah was born. Life continued, along with all its ups and downs, and although I really tried my best I

Hope's Journey - Update

I am very surprise at how well the PDF's of Hope's Journey are selling, thank you very much everyone for your support, I have also released a Kindle/eBook version at Amazon.   At the same time though I have had at least one third of my readers unsubscribe from my blog this week, I guess the route I am going is not for everyone.  I will do my best to not only post Hope's Journey snippets but to include current news and random things too, so if Hope's Journey is not for you just ignore those posts and continue reading the others, if there is anything in particular you like to hear about please tell me and I will write along those lines too :)  A snippet of Chapter Two will be posted on Saturday.  Have a beautiful day today.  Love Angela xxx

In The Stillness

Laying awake at night, tossing and turning, I realise that I have a long way to go in order to be in green pastures and by still waters.  As I have considered this new season of being still I realise that there is another layer to this - being quiet.  In order to fully reap the benefits of this awesome season I need to quieten my mind from all the things that keep me awake at night and I need to literally be quiet - not talk. Quieting my thoughts is disciplining my mind to think of other things.  Instead of meditating on the work I have to do I need to intentionally force my mind to ponder on more peaceful things.  I am the sort of person that is on the go all the time which is why I have to have seasons of rest.  My mind needs to rest, my body needs to rest and my spirit needs to rest in God's presence. Proverbs 21:23 Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles. Quieting my mouth is another challenge for me.  There are times to be bold and say things that

Hope's Journey - Suicide

Here I am, again, sitting on the bathroom floor, with a broken razor in my hand. Just enough of the cheap, blue, disposable, razor has been chipped away so that the sharp corners are exposed, exposed only enough to make some small cuts into the skin on my wrist. “God what is wrong with me, why am I like this? This just isn't normal! AND I am a leader in a Church.” This was my conversation with God not very long ago. Yet again, I was having another attack of "whatever"! I have no idea what it is that comes at me and I have no idea why I go there or even how I started going there in the first place. I have no idea what to call this “attack” so out of pure frustration I called it “whatever”. Whatever it is or whatever it means or what causes it, I just don’t know but whatever it is it simply has to go. Even though it is “whatever” which sounds very blasé it is still a very real place that I find myself in from time to time. Oh, and yes, you did read correctly, I